I wear hats much of the time

..these days and standing in the grocery store in Lenoir, North Carolina, intently reading the label on a jar, I felt a light tug on my jacket and turned to see a small older woman with tight curls in her thin blond (Clairol) hair.  She had this weird little impish grin on her face as she asked me without any introduction, "Do you know what kind of man wears the biggest hat?"

As my mind whirled trying to figure out if this was an off color joke or maybe just being a busy body attempting to make a point, I finally decided to bite and ask, "No Ma'am, I sure don't."
She gives me this Goober Pyle smile and blurts out, "The man with the biggest head!"

"OK..," I'm thinking, "What's this all about?"  I gave a nervous little laugh as my eyes darted around looking for the TV cameras.  If I had any notoriety at all, I would be looking for an Ashton Kutcher Punk'd crew hanging out but this is in hard core Mayberry RFD territory and wasn't likely.

With no film crews visible, I then began looking for an escape route down one of the aisles in case she pulled an ice pick or Beretta from her purse but just before I took flight, she perked up and said, "Made you laugh, didn't I?"

I nervously chuckled, "Yes ma'am, you did."  They say some folks laugh when they don't know what else to say or do and I was still looking for an escape route.

Still smiling, she perked up again, blinked her eyes and told me "Bye!", as she ambled off down by the pasta.

This Mayberry thing is going to take a little more "getting used to."