lying on the rear window back ledge

Lying there against the rear window on the back ledge of the car, objects moved from large to small to infinity and were constantly replenished as breeze whipped around from the downed windows while the car sped along at 60 mph. To an eight-year-old kid back in the 50s, it was almost a universally accepted thing to do. It was not illegal, and it was done often. Of course there were no seat belts or any constraints and a padded dash was sometimes added as a safety measure for the ones in the front seats.

The diminishing signs, poles and trees was like watching creation in reverse, I could not see what was coming from the front and every few seconds, something new would become the past then be replaced by future past objects. Having ultimate trust in my Dad to take care of what was coming up on the road, I never had a worry for what was out front. The occasional bump in the road or the tight curve did not unnerve me, and all I had to do was enjoy the ride. Whoa!...there goes a cow on the side of the road!

Sometimes I let the events of my life load up on me, and now I try to see the future, only to realize my hindsight is much better than my foresight and that only God knows the future and not me.

Recently, my wife and I were handling an intense life event and I spent a lot of time mapping out in my mind how things should or would play out. As was pointed out, I was often in a twitch when it looked like things were not becoming a reality in the fashion I had envisioned. I began to understand my limitations, so with my wife's advice, I began to talk with God (at length) and confess that I had no power and that He was the one driving the process and I should be that eight-year-old kid again and place that ultimate trust in God to map, guide and walk me through the process.

Wanting to display strength, leadership and confidence, we often hide our fears and dwell on worst case scenarios. I should have been taking Psalm 56:3-4 to heart. "When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?"

Psalm 37:5 tells us, "Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act." I've seen that work recently and if only I could put myself in that position for the rest of my life, and be totally dependent on God to handle the bumps, drive me around the curves and steer me around the random heifer on the side of the road. He also says in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

That's where I want to be, for it is written (Mark 11:24), "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

My job is to learn to trust in Him. He already knows His job.