Dreams

As a child I would have these indescribable nightmares where I was surrounded by this omnipotent force that I did not understand.  It was formless, yet its power was frightening to me.  Now, when I think about it, perhaps the power it had really was nothing to fear other than that it was something I could not fathom.

I am pretty sure we all dream, perhaps every night (and sometimes in the recliner) we all go there like its a distant place that we don't understand the rules of.  Some are memorable while others can be disturbing.  As I've gotten older, I don't really have disturbing dreams and some are downright pleasant and even humorous.

Some troublesome dreams would often involve being in a place that was disheveled and without order.  More than once I would dream that I was at an event and did not want to get up from the table because I was without shoes and sometimes without pants, just socks and underwear.  What an embarrassment.

Just last night I dreamed of meeting lots of pleasant people who I helped do some things and they were so nice and accommodating.  It seems I was lost and couldn't get back to the airport and received plenty of assistance from my new found dream friends.  When I woke this morning, I had the most incredible pleasant feeling all over and whether or not I really did, I thought I woke with a smile on my face.  As I rolled over, I looked at the clock and said, "Good morning, Lord!  Thank you for a great night's sleep."

Over the years the dreams had become more and more fun and entertaining.  Some of my favorites would involve flying at will.  No wings, just willing myself to fly over objects, trees and obstacles.  As it turned out, later in my life, I became a SCUBA diver and a few times I rode underwater scooters.  They were tube like devices with battery powered propellers at the rear that you could hold on to the rear of, press the button and glide underwater at a decent speed turning around and over coral.  Another way to use them was to put the nose of it between your legs, hook the side of your feet and fins to the bottom and blast off, using your outstretched arms to guide you.  That is known as "Superman."  So now looking back, the "Superman" trick was exactly what I had been dreaming of for years.  Night before last I dreamed that I could will myself into a "superman" mode and fly in the air.  I even stepped off the rear deck of my Mom's house and just simply landed on the lawn with no impact.  Lots of fun.

Now, the most memorable dream I had, and recall it often, was that I was off somewhere in a distant city driving around just looking at things to photograph.  I did that quite often in the 20 years of traveling by myself working for my company. *(Thanks, Mr. Jones.)* Each weekend found me in some often sketchy neighborhoods with my trusty Nikon on the front seat.

Anyway,  I had pulled up onto an abandoned service station at an intersection that had long been deserted.  You've seen them before; faded paint on the pumps, weeds growing up in the cracks of the concrete and dirty cracked windows on the building.  There was a sign post that once housed the oil company sign but now was nothing but a rusty rectangle holding nothing more than pigeons.  Most of the buildings around were abandoned as well.

I got out of my car, looked around and noticed the street had narrowed down to just to a little lane that gradually descended by a few feet.  Without hesitation, I followed the path where no more buildings nor man-made structures could be seen.  My walk was so pleasant with no clouds in the sky and on each side of the lane there was only one particular variety of plants dominating what looked like thousands of acres.  

They seemed to be chest high and as the slightest breeze blew, the stalks of the plants would wave the most beautiful and brilliant blue flowers that you can imagine swayed in the gentle wind. It is impossible to describe the beauty and intensity of the color.  Not only were the flowers absolutely breath taking, the little glimpses of emerald pedicels and sepals would flash beneath the blue flowers adding to the sight.  I can't stress how magnificent that field of flowers was.

Knowing no one could understand or imagine those colors, I knew they had to be photographed.  In normal times, that Nikon would have been slung over my shoulder but for some reason, I had left it in the car.   So I turned and headed back up the little hill to the car, unlocked it and grabbed my camera.  As I turned to go back and snap those pictures, I became confused and could no longer find the lane.  It just wasn't there any longer and grieved over it knowing I would never be able to prove how glorious that meadow of flowers were.

I am not a dream interpreter but I somehow like to think that this was a slight glimpse or faint snippet of heaven, that He had shown me just a bit of it and that it was not my time to see His glory.   Also, I had to return to where things of man were corrupt, disintegrating, and would eventually be overgrown by weeds and bushes.  The only way I could see that field (of dreams) again, would be when He calls me home to be with Him forever. 

Baruch's Lesson

While privately talking to the Lord this morning and making coffee, I lamented that my life was so insignificant and that I had wasted so many opportunities, both in worldly ventures and more importantly, Godly deeds.  I reminded myself that I had friends and relatives who had gone on mission trips, help build orphanages and preached all over the world.  Woe is me! It was a full blown pity party but the Lord wasn't going there with me.

As usual, I opened up my bible app to read some morning devotionals and continue on with my daily readings.  This morning, the book of Jeremiah was the subject.  As the scriptures unfolded, I found that Jeremiah the prophet had been somewhat of a thorn in the side of the king and his council resulting in him being beaten and put in stocks for a night by Pashur the priest.  Jeremiah was not shy about letting the king know how the Lord felt about the way the king of Judah was leading the people and prophesied against him often.  Judah and its kings had a long history of ignoring God and was often found burning incense in high places to other gods which greatly displeased the Lord.

After his release, Jeremiah went back to his place perhaps to sooth his wounds but more importantly, discuss the past event with God.

Jeremiah received a word from God and told his assistant (scribe), Baruch, to write down the words of the Lord and that they should be delivered to Jehoiakim, king of Judah. Jeremiah dictated to Baruch some disturbing news on a scroll which would be delivered to Jehoiakim's leaders.  As the leaders read the words, they asked, "where did you get this?"  Baruch told them, "these are the words from the Lord that were given to Jeremiah!"  Jeremiah 36:11-15  The leaders knew that the king should hear it and knew this would likely not be received well by the king and told Baruch, that he and Jeremiah should hide out for a while.  So, they gathered themselves up and headed straight to Jehoiakim, delivering the scroll.

After delivering the scroll, the leaders began reading the words and after a few columns, the king would angrily cut off a portion and throw it into the fire eventually burning the entire scroll.  When it became known that the original scroll was burned, Jeremiah dictated another with the same message with some other choice words added.  There was going to be a lot of destruction and lots of it.

Anyway, as the story goes, it seems that Baruch felt somewhat secondary to the whole event even though the Lord wasn't going to let Baruch be harmed in the upcoming mayhem.  So the Lord gave these words to Jeremiah, regarding Baruch.  Jeremiah 45:1) "Jeremiah said this to Baruch:  “This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says to you, Baruch:  You said, ‘Woe to me! The Lord has added sorrow to my pain; I am worn out with groaning and find no rest.’  But the Lord has told me to say to you, ‘This is what the Lord says: I will overthrow what I have built and uproot what I have planted, throughout the earth.  Should you then seek great things for yourself? Do not seek them. For I will bring disaster on all people, declares the Lord, but wherever you go I will let you escape with your life.’”

Now, what does this have to do with me feeling sorry for myself?  It think it means that I should get over myself and that my self imposed judgement of myself is not His plan for me.  

Matthew 6:1 tells us, "Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them.  If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven."  We should be carful as not to let our service to the Lord turn into its own self righteous reward.

So, in retrospect, the Lord knew that I would be reading these very passages and that was His message to me.  There has always been those who have been designed for worldly greatness and those who have not.  These conditions do not negate the love of Him for us and that we are all vessels of His goodness.  Learn to hear and discern what the Lord is saying to us for we are all spokes in the wheel that carries His will and purpose.

Should I cease thinking of the possibilities of being an effective witness to the faith?  Of course not but if checking off boxes and accumulating photos of mission trips is my reward, then I have accumulated nothing.