Wanna know what drives me crazy?

Walking into Applebee's, the maitre de of sorts looks up with a toothy grin and asks, "How many?" "How many what?", I 'm thinking but knowing there's not a soul withing a quarter mile coming in behind me, I look back over my shoulder for a second and look back at her, raising one eyebrow and respond, "Just me !" Maybe she was expecting a bus load to drop out of the sky. For some reason, that just drives me insane.

Oh, and drive in fast food joints. Invariably, you order a double possum burger with no cheese and tomatoes with two orders of fries and oleander dipping sauce, they'll charge you for it and won't be in the bag. So, beckon the kid through the hole in the wall trying getting her to retrieve the last items while holding up what looks like a Mardi Gras parade behind you. The oleander sauce turns out to be catnip but you want to get out of there so bad you drive off with it and decide it wasn't worth the hassle to drive through again.

Something else gets my goat too. There was some kind of company man in the Publix Grocery Store greeting people as they came into the store. He chirps up and says condescendingly, "Good morning, young man!" Good grief, I'm 65 years old and a one eyed monkey would know I wasn't a "young" man.

What's up with the waitresses at Denny's for crying out loud? It makes you think you're in a truck stop. "Hello, Sweety", "More tea, Hon?", "Anything else, Darlin'?" Should I leave a tip or buy a dozen roses?

Although they may be curmudgeons, Andy Rooney and W. C. Fields are looking more and more like sages to me lately.

Peanuts, traveling and the Reunion

What's the deal with me and peanuts? I've been flying so much, every time I get near an airport, I get an almost uncontrollable craving for peanuts. At this posting, Delta Airlines still serve Fisher's Peanuts, so I guess that's where that comes from. I will just have to get over that.

Anyway, I'm headed home for another lightening round of travel to the family reunion on my Mama's side. They'll all coming swarming in from Texas, Louisiana, Arkansas and Florida (that would be me). I may or may not post pictures since many of them may look like me (Lord, help us) and might be the target for litigation or a visit from over zealous cops that have a collection of photos from the post office. I've missed it two years running so I felt like this year I'd keep from embarrassing Mama again.

It's 250 miles north of Baton Rouge, so I'll be driving up with my wife Friday afternoon/evening. We'll hug necks, eat each other's food then all load up and make our way back home. When we get there, we'll upload the digital pictures, look them over carefully and remark how old our cousins are looking while shaking our heads and wondering where the years have gone.

Monday morning will find me craving peanuts once again.