Fay, Fay, go away

She wasn't much of a bona fide Hurricane. Shortly after crossing over the Florida Keys, she hit the mainland again and slowed from a category 1 to a tropical storm. However, even though she wasn't a real hurricane, Fay took a slow methodical path up across the state and back into the Atlantic where she just sat there offshore and churned, and churned and churned. Within a weeks time, she had managed to water the entire state down all the way over to Alabama.

Great job Fay. You managed to disrupt business and lives for a week.

Finally, Friday afternoon life began to get back to normal for the northeast corner of the state and the tourists began to show up again by Saturday. Sunday was the first full day of normal August sun and the beach once again had volleyball, sun bathers and surfers.

I'll be wrapping up in St Augustine (3 1/2 months) and probably Monday or Tuesday, I will be looking for an airplane to either get back home for a long awaited vacation back on Maui again.

Five Seconds

Five seconds; not long is it?

In my hotel room, I was watching the Will Smith movie, Legend. There was very little light except for the glow from the laptop screen and just a narrow shaft of light that made it's way across the bed through the partially drawn curtains. The air conditioner was set low and the air was crisp. Condensation had formed droplets of water on the outside of the single large pane causing an eery distortion that prevented clear vision through the haze and I could see no defined objects, buildings or trees.

With the light green glow of a street light filtering through the window, in that short moment, probably five seconds, I struggled mentally just to remember where I was. Where was I? Hawaii? Minnesota? California,? Winter? Summer? No, St Augustine, Florida in mid August, but for five very long seconds I was disoriented and had no clue. Five seconds to decide if I was in familiar surroundings; five seconds to determine if I was safe, well, in a welcomed place or even what planet I was on.

Five seconds is a long time.

Jesus Switch

The air conditioner in my room at the Hampton Inn plays a little game with me. I can set it to 60, 70 or 75...it simply doesn't matter. When I left it this morning, the thermostat was set at 70° but when I arrived from work this afternoon, it was clearly in the mid 70s. As I walked through the door, it immediately perked up and began to hum. Brrrrrrrrmmmmmm.... The same thing happens at night. That thing will freeze me out when I go to bed and the down comforter that's on the bed is really great. Somewhere in the night, when there's no movement in the room it gets warm and I begin kicking off covers. If I have to get up to go (what do I mean, "if"?) to the bathroom, the motion in the room kicks it back on again and the temperature drops again. It reminds me of the T-Shirts and bumper stickers I see, "Jesus Is Coming......Look Busy!"

English as an Inconvenient Second Language

Last week, my son dropped by a Baton Rouge Po-boy establishment to grab a couple of sandwiches. As he entered the shop, he noticed the sign on the glass. "Attention!!! All extra salad dressing and sauces (and gravy) will cost an additional 30 cents - Sorry for the Incontinence - Management".

Thinking it was some kind of offbeat humor, he beckoned a plain vanilla south Louisiana redneck employee and asks, "Are you serious??"

"Absolutely," the sandwich artist responded, "we charge for all extras, sauces, dressings and extra gravy."

My son now realizes all this has gone over the guy's head. "Let me show you something," leading the man to the sign in the window and pointing to the words on the poster, "Incontinence means............well.....(whispering)...you can't hold your pee-pee."

The guy blinks, stares at it a moment then calls a middle eastern lady (management) over to the sign and relates the issue fully to her. Whether in embarrassment or chagrin, she rips the sign down and disappears to the back of the sandwich shop.

While being from another country and trying to hack it out in America brings its challenges with a second language, half the humor is lost in the fact that she had locals working for her and hundreds of Louisiana public educated customers probably passed by that sign and never once caught it either.

So, the joke is really on us all.